i am laying out on the lawn in he backyard, all three cats in view. sailer and xena/wena are both interested in the same bird activity (thus luckily not noticing each other) and rupert is, well, he's not properly making use of our vegetable beds. I actually feel a bit relaxed, which is quite the statement for me to make. i have a few typical worries running through my head, but only the ones i can never get rid of. It just feels nice for once to be able to just be.
my life lately - i have just been wishing i could take a vacation from life for a while! that is not possible though, so i have just been trudging on, barely it seems. i dont like how anything is right now and most of it is out of my control, which i don't know how to handle well. there is one way to make it in my control and that would be to quit my job. yet im not sure how to assert myself and have that happen. and believe me, the scenario has been running through my head. i used my therapy session on that this morning (not on purpose, i just said something about it and we went with it) so i dont want to go back into details about that now.
for this moment, it feels nice to have an actual bit of summer. i really miss those days, that relief of the summer months with no stress or worry of school and no deadlines to meet. i do not enjoy any bit of my adult life i have taken on. its really hard to just take a breath and force myself on most of the time, but that is all i can do for now.
So lovely to see you posting again, i've missed you!! Sorry to hear about the thoughts of your responsibilities and work feeling too much, that's an awful burden to have to carry, i always thought you seemed to get so much pleasure out of work!
ReplyDeleteI got the chocolate, just got to get my hands on the nakd and trek and then you will have a nice goody box in the post to cheer you up a bit :) xxx
hey! i said i was back then disapeared for a bit, ha! apologies. but speaking of not blogging missy - ahem!
ReplyDeleteglad to report work is back to being better, it was mostly in my head it seems, all i did was change some of my behaviors and voila.
excellent about the package! i was wondering just the other day, though, who got your first package with the malt balls?!? quite the mystery there.