most anticipated 2010

Like the Haircut 100, I give you AP's Most Anticipated albums for 2010 that I agree with.

The Academy Is...; Expect it Fall

This February marks the five year release of their first label album, Almost Here. They are playing a show in their hometown of Chicago, IL, that I am attending, of the album in it's entirety. They have grown as musicians and people since then, and if their EP released in September of '09 is any indication of what the new album will be like, it will be pure musical bliss to the ears.

The Cab; Expect it Late Spring

This is a must band to know. I am so glad I fell upon them early in their label career. They will be on this Springs AP Tour, which I will catch in Seattle, WA. Definately worth checking out is Alex DeLeon's blog (he is the singer), his incredible writing and insight goes beyond lyrics.

The Get Up Kids; Expect it Spring - EP, Fall - full-length

I had to do a double take when I saw this! GUK are an old high school favorite of mine. After having disbanded for a while, they are back and ready to go. I hope they give a kickback album and stray away from what the genre's sound is currently (not so good!).

Motion City Soundtrack; Expect it Jan 19

I have already pre-ordered my copy.

Never Shout Never; expect it February

Another Spring AP Tour member, Never Shout Never is Christofer Drew. Quote from the article: "I don't have too many friends... I just kinda write songs." Much like me, only I write fiction.

I also appreciate what he says about recording an older sounding, 50's-esque record: "I'm kinda fed up with all the over-produced nonsense that's coming out right now." See me previous comment on how much of the new music out now is not so good. It is not the crackly, vocal driven tunes from just a few years ago.

The Young Veins; Expect it Spring

The Young Veins is made up of two former PAnic! At The Disco members Jon Walker and Ryan Ross. As Ross says, "it was clear we needed a new outlet" in responce to the split from Brendon Urie and Spencer Smith, the current P!ATD. What they will give us is a "feel-good "beach" vibe" - though now Beach Boys beachy.

Not in AP is the anticipation of the Panic! album, which I am very eager to see released.

I had been meaning to write this up for a while, and I had thought of other albums that will be released in 2010 (Year Spaceship), yet they seem to have escaped me for the moment! If/when I recall, I will surely add them on.

Christmas in photographs

(not pictured: giraffe mug, giraffe loofa, giraffe shower gel from thea)

<3

my life, starting in 2010

(unfinished draft)

Somewhere along my way I got pushed off track. I have been doing what I thought I ought to be doing, yet I am not sure it is what I want to be doing.

I was in the kitchen Christmas Eve starting my hours of baking and cooking. I was by myself, had some music on, and my thoughts just went where they wanted. It hit me then how odd my family is. I am the youngest at 24, my brother the oldest at 27 (28 on the 28th!) and Erica somewhere in the middle. Only my brother came from another life to be back home. I haven’t seem him since my birthday (September) I realized not long ago. His life is just school right now, but he has his own place and isn’t running back home so often. My sister and I, well, we both live at home (but hey! only three days a week for me!). It doesn’t seem normal.

I had tried to going off and living on my own and I pretended I liked it and could do it. I couldn’t have been more realized when my dad told me I had to move back home. It is so safe at home, so easy to be in this same life. Yet it is time to stop and look at “this life.” While I love my family dearly and appreciated everything from and about them, it’s a sheltered life. I did okay for a good part of my life, I had a handful of friends I could call up and hang out with. When I got sick at 17, it all went away. Some stayed, and I am more than grateful for that. But of those, I only really talk to one of them, for no fault but my own. I want to build back those relationships, if I can. I did some decent damage to one.

I’ve lived in the Bay Area my whole life, and have not had many travels outside of it. I thought here could give me all I wanted, but I having looked back on 24 years, 3 months, and [almost] 13 days, it can’t give me what I want. When I bring this up in therapy (still a much needed part of my life) I am always told I need to get out there and do, life wont just happen for me. While, I’ve tried all the ways I can and still nothing. I think it is time to go.

2010 will bring me some travels. I have said this for a while, but I think it is time to do it for real, I cannot be scared anymore. It is what I need and have to do, and so be it that I have to do it alone. I’ve been so afraid to do it because it is out of the realm of my bubble world, and I’ve always been afraid to tell my parents I’m going to take a trip. I let them know of Chicago today, and they took it rather well I think. They don’t know it will most likely be a solo trip, but there’s still hope for me to get a friend by February. Seattle will be in April. Unplanned is New York (for Thea!!!), San Diego, and possibly Hawaii is I mend that friendship.

I’m also going to explore job options. I am not ready to go back to grad school. It finally hit me tonight. The fact that I cannot settle down to get what I need to together for it just lets me know I am not ready. I’m not mentally ready, and I am not going to push myself like I did before. I don’t have to take the path of Grad School, but that option will still be there for another year or two.

I am going to act like a 24 year old. I am not going to walk through life holding Mom and Dads hands... okay, I still will as I have quite a few issues that just don’t let me live an average life and I need their support. But, I am not going to let them tuck me in at night (only speaking figuratively as I go to bed by myself). I want to get a taste of the world.

Getting sick at 17 took a big swing at my life and knocked it all out of place. Instead of going about life like my peers, I spent my days at hospitals talking about deep issues and facing aspects of life that scared me senseless. I went from 17 to 27 and just kept going as I tried to repair my life. I went through college like an old married couple only I didn’t have a husband. No wild parties, no late nights with friends, no movie marathons. Just Sailer and myself mostly, Liz on the occasional weekend, Thea and a few others at school. Thea was someone who helped me stick it through college, though I never let her know. Her and a few professors. I had wanted to give up, but giving up is not an option in life.

After graduation I realized my life was nothing like I had thought it would be. It was the complete opposite. I didn’t feel 22, I didn’t feel like I was finished with college, I didn’t feel ready to go into the real world. I felt like I was 17. Having been knocked out of place at 17, I didn’t transition in a typical way. I skipped ahead and took care of my serious life. Now I just want to have fun. I want to go out and take long runs, ride my bike everywhere, go on picture taking trips, write my heart out all day. I am at the stage where I am ready to explore what the world has for me, and I need to do it beyond my bubble of the Bay Area. My dad always tells me that we are late bloomers (my brother found his life at 26/27), and I see it true for them. I not only bloom late, I bloom out of order.

to be addressed:

-albums of 2010

-the "Alex Guitar"

-more on travels?

-get my med story out of my head

my favorite drunk story...

...involves milk

ranting and no raving

I am simultaneuosly baking cookies, making dinner, and now typing here every few minutes only because i cannot stand the thoughts in my head any longer. The mum here is home, but is staying in bed as she is not feeling well. neither am i. and now i have to run upstairs and see who it is that is jumping so very hard, making the ceiling shake and the lights flicker.

The wee one, of course.

Well, I am only to blame for having so much going on. It took me 40 minutes to make the cookie dough, woops. A live chat is to blame, which I enjoyed and will have to do more often.

Ew, it is time to do the chicken...

I am not a great multitasker. I go to do something and am distracted by another and start to do that and completely forget about the other. That's why this is all taking so long. But at least I'm really cooking. I just hadn't been feeling like doing much with cooking and it made me feel so bad as I kept making such basic dishes. Now, I've been bitten by the cooking bug yet again, which is odd cause I never eat what I make.

I haven't been feeling much like eating lately. It started when I got sick right before Thanksgiving, and has just gone on, because of my teeth, being sick some more, and just... because. Which is not good. My teeth, well, I lost a filling some months ago yet I wasn't bothered by it and so didn't bother with the dentist, which is a really stressful place for me to go. A week after my 24th birthday, a birthday when I lost my dental insurance, the tooth hurt like a motherfucker. It was the worst pain, down into my jaw. I was at the point of calling the dentist when the pain went away and thus i avoided it again. The pain has been coming and going; when it is here, it is just so bad, and now more teeth on that side have begun to hurt. And I can only chew on my right side, and I have limited foods that I can even chew period.

My teeth, that's how my eating disorder first took a serious turn for the worst. I had gotten my wisdom teeth out , and was very restricted in the foods I could eat. I had chocolate pudding, instant breakfast drinks, and a milkshake. My sister had gotten me a vanilla milkshake from MaggieMoos - the same I had gotten for her when she had her w-teeth out. I only had a little at a time. A few spoonfulls at first, and then I put it in the freezer. I choose specific times I could have a few more spoonfuls, and would stare at the clock when it neared that time. I didn't finish the milkshake even; when I knew no one was around I dumped some down the sink. This was the first neurotic food behavior I had, and my whole food regimen soon followed in suit.

I learned years later that this was when my mum first noticed I had eating problems. I had no clue at the time what was going on, I only have recalled all this recently and how it related to the disaster that soon followed.

That is not what's happening now, just my teeth brought that back to memory. Oh how I hate the dentist, but I do need to go. I first need to sign up for dental insurance. I also have a misaligned jaw that causes pain and problems that I need to see a specialist for (that I have neglected to do thus far). I might as well take care of all at once, eh.

Dinner went by fine, the boys were out of control afterward, took forever to get them in the bath, had to get out due to unnesesary and loud screaming, and read to them for a while until sleep. I also took care of all the dishes some where in there and packed away the cookies and cleaned up.

In bed now and very tired. Time for some tele and sleeeeeeeeep.

Disappear

Motion City Soundtrack - "Disappear"

Motion City Soundtrack | MySpace Music Videos

I was already looking forward to the new Motion City Soundtrack album, which I have preordered, that is out 19 January 2010. This video and song release makes me look forward to it even more. Going to be a good one, yes for sure.