it's 1.18 am on, hmm, 1 april. wide awake. not a good thing. alarm goes off at 7 am to begin yet another endless day. been having an increase in sleep problems lately.
im a bit devoid, in my head, of anything relevant to me at this moment. what makes me me? at least to other people. to myself im just a twisted mess of agony in my head. but to others - what can i say? how can i explain myself, make myself seem more like a person? i like photography, i want to pursue it. but of course im just slow in getting it going, slow to actually comiting and sticking to something for once .yeah, that BA is psychology? seems all for nothing now. bummer.
i love my cat. :D
i really enjoy baking. dont really eat my creating, but i love to do it anyway! i mostly bake cookies, but don't put anything else past me! my dad gets cookies once a month at least. last month was cashew caramel. i used to have a little home run baking business that i'd bake and send cookies out to different people. every month, 1-2 different types. im certainly more of a baker than a cooker (er?). i have to make dinner for my work family, well i can at least do it but i rely heavily on recipes!
i wish my body and rest of brain would begin to shut down alongside this thinking bit of it. i have thoughts, but no words for them. they are just going going...
So glad you have started a blog!
ReplyDeleteI'm having sleep problems too and it really puts things out of whack, and nothing is quite right when you're exhausted and miserable and yet frustrated because you just can't cut off.
Your cat is ace! I demand a picture of sailor soon!
And you should give us all your greatest recipes too :)
People can't see all that tangled wool inside your head, or not as obviously as you feel it there. They see the caring side of you, beautiful side of you, funny side, loving side, intelligent side! Wow you've got lots of sides, what kinda shape does that make you?!!
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i am glad you have one too, missed you at the other place!
ReplyDeletedoom to the sleep problems. i swear my functioning would be improved a lot if only my sleep were regulated. my problems are just one big loop though, each causes the other and the other causes the each!
i will get some pictures of my lovey up, i am never short on those!
i think i ought to have a baking day of the week for here, just to make something fun. cos i cant bake all the time now, but i can certainly talk about it! thanks for sparking that idea :)
i am glad to me i present is much better than the tangle inside my head. i was talking with my t about it, and how i get so caught up in just all that is wrong with me, and she pointed out that that is not what other people focus on. i also had just talked about this with my mum also, and how i get so paniced thinking other people can see inside my head and know what i am worried about them seeing, yet it doesnt happen. and how do i know? because i dont walk around reading into other peoples minds!